


and despair

by qar



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Claustrophobia, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Dynamics, First Meetings, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Growing Up, Hurt/Comfort, It's not as bad as it looks, Medical Inaccuracies, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, based on my own experiences? only from the pov i haven't experienced, hehe i put in the piston thing, i use those tags in every fic :(, i wanted it i got it, its kinda similar, so probably very inaccurate, unreality, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qar/pseuds/qar
Summary: 'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'Nothing beside remains. Round the decayOf that colossal wreck, boundless and bareThe lone and level sands stretch far away.or:The rise and fall of Wilbur Soot.(This work was written before the festival, and therefore has no connection to it. It also has no spoilers for the November 16th war, and there are no traitors. It was previously called "Ozymandias".)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 30
Kudos: 209





	1. wilbur (i)

Wilbur was ten when Phil brought Tommy home.

Phil'd been out for the day. It was one of his longer trips to the village; the ones he'd make when there was a raid; and indeed, an hour after he'd left Wilbur and Techno had heard the horns of raiders in the distance. They'd locked up the way Phil always told them to, and curled up together in the basement, Wilbur quietly playing a song he'd written, Techno pressed against him with his nose in a book he'd picked up on his way there. Wilbur thought it'd take a few hours before the horns ceased and Phil'd come home, bringing with him treats and gifts the villagers had given him. It was routine by now.

However, they'd been snapped out of routine when they heard a banging coming from upstairs. The horns were still going; Phil wasn't supposed to be here. Techno had leaped up, startled, as had Wilbur; both of them had stared at each other, frightened, as they heard the door being knocked on repeatedly. Then the eight-year-old had grabbed his sword- it was wooden, made for practice, but Techno was scarily good with it. Wilbur had grabbed a knife he'd used to make them sandwiches with earlier, and they'd both quietly creeped up the stairs. They knew it wasn't raiders, because they'd have broken the door down, like Phil had warned them. Hopefully it was just a passerby who'd heard the horns and looked for shelter.

Then Techno's pointed ears had perked, and he'd dropped the sword and raced up the stairs with speed Wilbur didn't think the boy was capable of. He'd followed quickly, and was met with Techno pulling the door open to reveal Phil, holding a large bundle in his arms. "Lock the door, Techno," he'd said, sounding serious. Techno had obliged, and Wilbur helped him lock it up again.

Then Phil had dropped carefully onto his armchair, the fireplace roaring up with recognition. Wilbur and Techno had raced back to him, standing next to the chair, looking curiously at the bundle Phil had pressed against his chest, wrapped in his cloak. Then the bundle moved, and both of them had stopped their commotion.

"Phil? What is it? Why are you home so early?" questioned Wilbur, pulling himself onto the arm of the chair and watching Techno do the same on the opposite side, swinging a leg over and trying to poke the bundle, which is curled into Phil. Phil catches his hand and moves it away gently. 

"The raid'll end soon. It was a pretty small group, so it ended fast. I just needed to get him out as fast as I could." He gently pats the blanket. "Hey, little buddy. We're home."

The blanket stirs, and sits up. Underneath a small child, maybe two, with fluffy, dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He's wearing a baggy blue jumper and ripped pants. His knees are bleeding, and he has a gash on his arm, which soaks his sleeve. He doesn't seem too bothered. 

"Are they gone? Who are they?" says the child. He's still tucked against Phil, but pushes himself up. "Is this your house?"

Phil laughs. "This is my house, yes, and these are your Wilbur and Techno. The raiders are far away. Can I get you fixed up?"

"Sure. Is that a sword?" the boy asks, looking at Techno's wooden sword, abandoned on the floor. "Can I have a sword?"

Wilbur looks at him. He's small, yes, and too thin to be healthy, but he's loud and talkative, and looks ready to explore. He can already imagine the trouble he's going to create, and rather than being annoyed he feels warmth spread across his chest. He has Techno, but Techno isn't one for direct mischief. He was tired of bothering the guard by himself.

Techno has gone scrambling for the medical kit, and Wilbur takes his chance to tumble onto the now empty armchair as Phil stands up, child in hand, who wiggles to be let down. Phil obliges, hovering carefully to make sure he walks fine. The boy seems to have no issue, and promptly picks up Techno's sword and looks at it. "This is nicer than the ones the raiders had," he said. "Theirs weren't nice. This is."

Indeed, Techno's carved little patterns into the wood, something he started as a way to pass time when they were in the safe room and now does as a hobby. This sword is almost complete, and when it's done he'll hang it up on his wall. It also has Wilbur's name scratched at the hilt.

Wilbur thinks of the sentence again, absent-mindedly, as he watches the boy wander around the room, and does a double take. "Raiders?" he asks Phil, who nods and makes a "we'll talk about it in a bit" face. Wilbur sighs impatiently as Techno runs back into the room with the kit. 

Techno drapes himself over Wilbur as they both watch, transfixed, as Phil quietly murmurs to the boy and wraps him wounds in bandages. Wilbur feels a sense of deja vu. He'd experienced this, years ago, only it was him watching Phil fix up Techno. He wonders if Techno finds this familiar.

At some point the boy notices them staring. "Why are you staring?"

Techno pauses, thinking. "What's your name?"

"Tommy," replies the child. "Is that your sword?"

"Yes."

"Well I just kicked a raider," says Tommy. "It was really cool. Then he sliced my arm open."

Wilbur blinks. Beside him, Techno also blinks. "Sounds painful."

"It was! But then I stabbed him in the nuts."

Wilbur blinks again, then howls with laughter as Techno starts laughing quietly. Phil looks split between horror and laughter, still bandaging Tommy's arm. He sighs. "Let's just get it over with now, then. Tommy was kidnapped by raiders. While they were attacking the village, he escaped, and I brought him here before he could get hurt worse. Tommy, these are Wilbur and Techno. They're your brothers from now on. Any questions?"

"How old are you?" says Wilbur.

"Four. Almost."

"So you're three?" asks Techno. "Pretty hardcore for a three-year-old."

Tommy seems to puff up with joy, and Techno beams at him automatically. Wilbur and Phil watch, also grinning. He's going to fit right in.

~~~

Tommy isn't all childish confidence and curiousity. He cries at the sounds of horns, similar to the attacks Techno got when he saw raiders. He wakes up screaming, causing Wilbur and Phil to sprint from their rooms into Techno and Tommy's shared room, where Tommy would be sobbing and thrashing, Techno trying to help. It becomes a common occurrence for Wilbur to wake up with Tommy asleep on his chest, or for Wilbur having to patch up Tommy and Techno's cuts from fights they get into. Tommy gets into fights constantly, usually protecting his friend, Tubbo, from being beat up. He's made Wilbur swear not to tell Phil.

One day he wakes up at midnight to the feeling of being watched. As he sits up, he sees Tommy standing at his door, shaking. As he usually does, he lifts his arm and watches as Tommy dives into his bed, sniffling.

"Hey, Toms," he says, laying back down and pulling Tommy into his side. He's five now, taller and healthier; Wilbur has grown to love him as much as he loves Techno and Phil, which is more than he thought he'd love anyone ten years ago. "What's wrong, love?"

The small boy clutches his shirt. Wilbur can feel his tears soaking through his shirt, and hear him quietly gathering his composure. "Wil?"

"Hm?"

"Are you guys gonna leave me?" A small sniffle. "Or die?"

Wilbur looks concerned; pulling the boys chin up gently. "We'll never abandon you, babe. What happened? Did you have a dream?"

Tommy snuffles, still teary-eyed. "My dad got killed by the raiders, I think. I don't want Phil to die."

"Hey!" says Wilbur, pulling the boy up onto his lap. He snuggles closer. "You know Phil's one of the best warriors in the world, right? And your big brother, Techno- He's one of the strongest kids! They'll always protect you."

"But- but what if they get tired of me?" says Tommy, rubbing his eyes. Wilbur wants to protect him from everything he can.

"Hey, listen," he says. "I promise. I'll always be with you. Through everything. Okay?"

"I'm going to hold you to that," replies the child. "Pinky promise."

"Pinky promise," says Wilbur, hooking their pinkies together. "We love you."

The moonlight shines through the window, and as Tommy falls asleep Wilbur watches him and thinks that he'd protect this boy from _anything_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! next chapter will hopefully be posted soon. comments and kudos are VERY APPRECIATED!!  
> if you wanna see more cute shit you can check out my account,, also sorry for not replying to comments!! my ao3 glitches out whenever i try but i appreciate them all SO SO much!!  
> stay safe yall!! <3


	2. wilbur (ii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The years go by pretty quick; Wilbur reflects on family, and decides what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going pretty smooth...

The three of them shoot up in height, Wilbur easily passing Phil in his long, lanky stature and Techno falling not too far behind. Tommy, now fifteen, is in between Phil and Techno. His personality has grown with age; he still acts immature and childish often, but Wilbur sees his gentle, caring side often now. He's also insanely smart for his age, similar to both him and Techno, if much more impulsive.

They've all been doing their own thing recently. Wilbur's twenty-two now; he stayed in SMPLive for a bit, before starting his own server called SMPEarth. It's layout is based on some of the old maps of the original Earth, and it's currently booming with people; he's decided to limit it to people he knows. He's settled into what's supposed to be Newfoundland, and watches Tommy fight the Antarctic Empire, which consists mainly of Phil and Techno.

Techno's twenty and a _god_ at fighting. He's considered on of the fiercest fighters in most worlds, feared for his insane skill and laid-back demeanor. He spends most of his time in Hypixel, participating in Bedwars; he's won 1400 times in a row before. He also joined SMPLive for a bit, before returning to Hypixel to continue his strange addiction to farming potatoes. He'd farmed the most potatoes in the _entire server_ ; and his days and nights of consistent farming worried the others. But he functioned. Phil also worried about how often he talked about beating orphans and his rival in potato farming, Squid Kid. Wilbur and Tommy found it entertaining.

Techno'd also changed physically. Most didn't notice he was a hybrid easily when he was a kid, but it was slightly more obvious at twenty. His ears, which would seem normal from afar, had sharp, pointed ends, and he had small tusk-like teeth jutting out from his jaw. Yet again, not obvious; but if someone were looking for it they'd find it. His hair was also now a pastel pink, which was a prank Wilbur and Tommy had played on him years ago; and to their surprise he'd decided he'd liked it and kept it. It suited him, as did the crown and cape he'd taken to wearing. It started as a joke, but at some point had started fueling his reputation, and Phil'd gotten a proper set made.

Phil- well, Phil never really changed. He stopped working quickly after adopting Tommy, having three children to care for and more money than he needed, although he'd still join championships to keep their money up. When they started venturing into their own things, he'd spend most of his time in a hardcore world he'd created. Currently, he and Techno were running the Antarctic Empire; they'd had a brief stint of _taking over the entire world_ , which lead to the entire server having to attend a _completely_ serious hearing, with Wilbur as the judge (him being one of the few admins in the server.) It'd resulted in a loss of total world control, but despite this the Antarctic Empire was still one of the strongest factions in the server.

With this server had come the experience of respawning. Respawning wasn't a natural thing; most worlds, like their own, had one life. However, many servers had started incorporating the respawn system into their code, and it had started to become much more common. It was still horrifying. And painful.

Of course, Phil and Techno had died millions of times. Phil, despite reigning champion in most competitions, had died plenty of times in minigames. Techno spent his time in Hypixel, in _Bedwars_ , which was basically death central. Wilbur had died a couple of times as well, just not as often. He hated it.

Tommy had never died. He was on Hypixel pretty often, but usually to annoy admins and play pranks with Tubbo, who'd grown to be his best friend. The games he did play tended to be more on the minigame side, which weren't particularly violent. So the first time he died- Techno stabbing him in the wrong place when Tommy tried to steal from him- Wilbur, Techno and Phil had gotten calls from various people telling them to get to spawn, quick, because their little brother was having a panic attack. That incident had lead to _so much_ guilt from Techno, and hours of back-and-forth consisting mainly of "I'm sorry," and "It's fine."

Tommy'd definitely gotten much better with dying; everyone had been cautious with him until he'd yelled something about the fact that he wanted to get used to dying, and that he'd raid everyone if they didn't start killing him. He'd set up Business Bay, and he was enemies with _too_ many people. He was also a part of the Cumin squad with Wilbur and Charlie, who was a childhood friend.

Currently his younger brother was at war with his two older brothers, having attempted to assassinate Phil due to a hit. Of course, it had ended badly, with Techno killing Tommy, and then Tommy blowing up their bridge and then a war starting and Charlie and Wilbur kicking Tommy out of Cumin squad. It was absolute chaos, as many things involving Tommy were.

At the end of the day, however, things were fine. They'd either stay in SMPEarth, or head home. Techno would continue spending hours on end digging up potatoes, Phil'd often be found at home, Wilbur would wander around aimlessly and make new friends and Tommy would irritate famous people into liking him. It was normal, familiar.

Some days they'd stay in SMPEarth overnight, like today. Wilbur decided to stay in his little hut in Newfoundland, alone except for Pee Dog and his thoughts. It was quiet and peaceful; he could see the dark trees moving, wind blowing harshly outside. It was warm in his hut; and he'd been sitting, alone, for almost an hour, just thinking about his siblings.

He was interrupted by the faint sound of a plane engine. Sighing, he sat up, grabbing his iron sword he'd left precariously on his nightstand. He just wanted a nice, peaceful night of sleep with Pee Dog, but he was probably about to be assassinated. Maybe he'd head home.

To his surprise, someone knocked on the door instead of breaking down his walls like several people had some before. "Who is it?" Wilbur yells. There's silence for a moment, then a muffled voice sounds through the wall. Wilbur can't understand what it says, but he recognises it as Tommy. Against his better judgement, he swings the door open.

The harsh, cold wind outside brings with it Tommy, who's shivering and wrapped in several layers of clothing. Wilbur may be his enemy, but he's still his brother, so he pulls the shorter boy inside and lets him warm up.

"Hey, big man," says Tommy. "Just let me clarify: I'm not here to murder you today."

"Tomorrow?" asks Wilbur.

"Of course," replies Tommy. "I just wanted to chat for now. No murder. Promise."

Wilbur knows Tommy takes his promises seriously, so throws himself onto his bed, motioning for Tommy to sit wherever. The boy obliges, dropping into a chair in the corner of the little house and rubbing his arms. "What brings you here, gremlin child?"

Tommy laughs quietly, sounding relieved. "Uh- I'm at war with Phil and Techno," he says. Wilbur knows where this is going, but he waits for him to speak. "Do they- do they hate me?"

Tommy, despite his boisterous nature, has always had some self-esteem issues; he was constantly afraid of not being good enough, or people getting bored of him, or people leaving him like his parents had when he was a child, no matter how unintentionally. Wilbur knew this, and he was the one Tommy came to with those issues; and he would be the one to tell him _again and again and again_ that he'd always be _so_ important to them, and that he was worth more than he could imagine and _nothing_ could change that.

Now, he stared at the ceiling, absently looking out the skylight he'd installed to look at the stars. "Tommy, darling boy, I've said it a million times and I'll say it as many times as you need." He pats the space next to him, like he used to do when he was a kid; Tommy approaches, and Wilbur can feel his weight sinking into the bed next to him. Then a mop of blonde hair splays out next to him, and they stare at the ceiling together. Wilbur starts.

"This server isn't the most serious," he says. "Most of us are friends, and I don't think these wars will change that." He pauses, thinks about his words. "We might fight each other, but you know it won't mean anything in the end. We're still brothers, and we still love you."

He turns his head to look at Tommy, who's still looking up blankly. His eyes are shiny. Wilbur continues. "There's more intense servers out there; ones you where you can't come and go casually like we do here. They're like having a whole new life, only you can return to the original in the end. I think they're called hardcore SMP's." Thinks again, reaches a hand out to tug on Tommy's hair. "Maybe if we join one of those servers war will matter. But remember; no matter what happens, no matter if we're on opposite sides, I will _always_ be there for you. No war can change that. I'd give up the world for you."

He watches as Tommy's face scrunches up and he pulls a jacket up to cover his face; yet again, a childhood habit. Tommy hated crying in front of others, and the familiarity makes Wilbur's heart twist. Pee Dog licks his foot, and the three of them lay in silence, just looking into space. 

~~~

They're at home one day. Wilbur and Phil are on the ground on a picnic blanket, sitting under the shade of a tree. They're watching Techno and Tommy spar. Techno is, of course, winning; but Tommy has improved so much in the past years. He can hold his own against _the_ Technoblade for longer than most can, and he can beat almost anybody else who _isn't_ slightly Piglin and very bloodthirsty and dangerous.

He and Phil talk about whatever comes to mind; Wilbur thumbs his guitar, and watches Phil carve into Techno's diamond sword using some sort of magic. He's recreating the pattern Techno'd carved into his first wooden sword.

Speaking of which, the two males fighting are using wooden swords; you couldn't do much proper damage with it, and both Techno and Tommy tended to get a bit overzealous while fighting; with these the worst they could do was whap the other and give them splinters and bruises. Wilbur watches as Techno holds the sword to Tommy's throat as the boy falls, then laughs and pulls him up. "Don't kill him!" calls Wilbur, and Tommy grins at him wildly.

"As if he could!" he yells back, brushing dirt and grass off his shorts. "Come fight me!"

Techno drops the sword and starts loping towards them, pulling Wilbur up and giving him a push towards the teenager. "You need practice too," he says, throwing his crown down. Wilbur has no idea how it stays on, and he's about to ask when he hears Tommy calling his name again. He jogs into the green field, leaving the pink-haired man to talk with Phil about technique. 

They spar for a while; Tommy beats him almost every time, and soon they're both panting with exhaustion. Wilbur's tired, but he wants to win, so he gives up with the sword and wrestles Tommy to the ground, before grabbing the boy's sword and holding it to his throat.

"T-That's cheating!" giggles Tommy, kicking Wilbur in the stomach and grabbing the sword as he oomphs the air out of his lungs. The elder slams his weight onto the younger boy, who's still panting and laughing, and they roll around for a bit before Tommy chokes out a "I surrender!" splaying out on the grass.

The skies are clear, and the air seems to still for a bit as they lay in the grass, Wilbur can feel the back of his shirt getting damp from the morning dew, and he can imagine how much grass he'll find in his hair afterwards, but he doesn't care. It's peaceful.

"We end up laying down a lot," says Tommy. He's still out of breath, and his eyes are closed with exhaustion.

"We do," says Wilbur, pulling himself up. He looks at Tommy. "Did I even scare you a bit?"

Tommy rolls over, face-first into grass. Wilbur makes a face of disgust, and he can hear Phil and Techno shouting their disagreement as they make to stand. "Not really," Tommy says. "You could hold a diamond sword to my throat and I would never be scared. You're Wilbur."

Wilbur's heart warms, but he scoffs and kicks Tommy over, offering him a hand. "That's mean."

The boy shoots him a small, genuine smile. "You know what I mean," he says, grabbing his hand. As he stands, Phil starts fussing over the amount of dirt that's gotten on them, and Techno gives them a few firm whaps to shake off the dirt that's gotten stuck to their clothes.

This was what home felt like, Wilbur thought, as they slowly made their way back to the cottage. This was his family, and they were his home. He'd give up anything for them; promises of power, wealth, fame; they were nothing compared to watching Techno trip on a vine, and Phil howling with laughter as Tommy jabs him with his sword and declares his victory. This was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jslakjsklasja thank you all SO MUCH for the support on the first chapter my days have been made  
> i still cannot reply to comments! life is cruel. but know that i stare at each and every one of them for hours every day. (approximately.)  
> aaaaanyway. things are smooth sailing! you get some of the usual qar fluffy fanfare. maybe something bad will happen soon. who knows. not me (i am so conflicted about the story. do i want to cause chaos?) (answer is yes. always)  
> thank you all so much for reading! kudos and comments are appreciated, and i hope you all stay safe!! <3


	3. wilbur (iii)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur is inconvenienced, and things start going down. No one's really sure who's most upset about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speed bump!

It seems so stupid.

Wilbur Soot has three amazing people as his family. He has Philza, who's loved by most of the people he meets, and admired for his survival skill; he has Technoblade, who's known as the Blood God for how many people he can kill in ten minutes; and he has Tommy, who's known as a little bitch who literally everyone loves. Hell, he has himself; he'd gained some popularity for his music, and the server's he's made and been in. They're all incredibly strong and dangerous; and Wilbur finds it hilarious that it's his own body that almost takes him out.

He and Tommy had finally gotten onto Dream's server; the twenty-one year man, who was somewhere in between being Techno's best friend and his worst enemy, had let the two of them onto his esteemed server. It was one of the serious ones; Wilbur honestly thought he'd never see one of them, and it's bittersweet when they say goodbye to Phil and Techno. He doesn't know when, or if, they'll be back. if you died in these, you died for real.

And here he was. 

He'd felt off beforehand, sitting on Tommy's bench and watching the two younger boys, now sixteen and joined at the hip, run around and yell at each other. Tommy'd popped in one of his prized discs into the jukebox, and the somber sounds of Mellohi were floating in the air. Wilbur's face had gone numb, and he was rubbing his left arm. He'd almost fallen over several times making his way there, and he was almost concerned enough to call Phil and ask him if there was something wrong with him. Almost.

Then his vision'd gone black and he'd tipped over, head feeling like it was filled with cotton and left arm numb. He couldn't tell what was happening, and he couldn't move; he could hear Tommy's panicked sobs, and somewhat feel himself being hauled up and moved around. Then he drifted out.

When he comes to, it's to Tommy asleep at the foot of his bed, and Fundy next to him. Wilbur recognises the walls as being Eret's. He can't move his right hand and he panics. Fundy clasps his right hand. 

"Wilbur!" he exclaims. "Thank god you're awake." The fox hybrid stands up from his chair and looks down at him. "You had a- I think it's called a stroke?" he rubs his neck. "It wasn't too bad. Your hand'll be fucked up for a bit, but it'll get better if you exercise it. At least that's what it said in the book," he says, sheepishly. "It also said there might be some mental consequences? But I'm not sure what that means."

Wilbur squeezes his hand. "Please don't tell my brothers. I don't want them to worry." Fundy nods.

"I haven't. Besides, you seem fine. Do you feel okay?"

"I can't move my left hand much," says Wilbur, trying his best to. His fingers move slightly, but nothing much happens.

"Yeah, that's supposed to heal by itself. You just need to keep moving it." Fundy holds up a book saying as such. Wilbur nods, then looks at Tommy, who's starting to stir.

"Hey, Tommy," he says. The boy's eyes open, and he stares at Wilbur for a second before shooting out of his chair and scrambling into Wilbur's arms. 

"Wil!" he says. "I was really worried."

Wilbur laughs, curling his right hand into Tommy's hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm fine, Toms!' he says reassuringly. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

Tommy presses himself close to him. "You're really heavy."

"And you're strangely light," Wilbur counters. "Fundy, can you give Tommy my communicator?"

"Sure," says the younger man, handing it to Tommy. "I'll be outside. Holler if you need me or Eret."

Tommy calls Phil and Techno, still buried in Wilbur's arms; they talk for a couple hours. His brothers and father fret over him, which is slightly annoying, but Wilbur ignores it. He's fine. It's annoying that he'll have to use a wheelchair for a bit, but he'll be fine.

~~~

Wilbur recovers fast. He's up and walking within a week, and his arm returns to normal after a while as well, with Tommy looking after it with more care than Wilbur's seen him use with anything. He's glad it wasn't worse; he didn't want to know how it'd affect people around him.

Tommy gets into a few small wars, but that's just the charm of Tommy. He's chaotic and wild, and Wilbur'd be concerned if he didn't start conflict every so often.

The fights usually revolve around Tommy's discs, which Wilbur isn't much of a fan of; they're _discs._ They're rare, but there's better things to fight for. So he forms L'manburg. 

L'manburg is built around the drug van, or the hto dog van, or the camarvan; it's a small area that Wilbur claims as his own, separate from Dream's. He's joined by Tommy and Tubbo, of course, and Eret and Fundy. What starts as a fun ploy to make money by selling potions results in revolution.

Their small, yellow-and-black walls are surrounded by fire. he can hear Sapnap's laughter outside, and he can spot Dream smirking from hills outside their borders. They've built TNT cannons outside, and some of their land gets decimated. Then Dream officially declares war, and "-white flags! White flags, outside your base, by tomorrow, or you're dead!"

Wilbur loves it. There's a feeling of danger; he finally feels like he's fighting towards a goal. Something important.

Tubbo is an amazing source of resources, and Tommy has this fire that's perfect for war. He's ready to fight, but Wilbur knows- he knows that Tommy is afraid. Wilbur's spoken about situations like this before, like it was an impossible scenario, but now it's real. He's in a real war. Wilbur sympathises, he does, but he's so ready for this. He's ready to stand up for what's now his, and he knows that Tommy will follow him. So he forges forwards.

They have their first official battle outside the Embassy- or, as Tommy still claims, his old house. They're bombarded with projectiles, and Wilbur barely avoids several arrows as they retreat back into the embassy, watching the land in front of them blow up. The others follow Tommy up the Power Tower, and Wilbur stays down and distracts the Dream Team, dodging shots. They all celebrate when Dream orders his men to retreat, unable to hit either Wilbur or the people up on the tower; he can hear whooping from the top of the tower, and he's waiting at the bottom when they all tumble off the ladders, laughing, and pulls them into a group hug.

~~~

Eret betrays them.

The three of them limp out of the Final Control Room, Tommy and Fundy holding an unconscious Toby between them. They're all bleeding. All their stuff is gone.

They sit in the hto dog van in a somber silence. They've bandaged themselves up; Tommy is nervously wrapping and unwrapping a roll of bandage around his hand. Fundy's tail is metaphorically and physically between his legs. Tubbo is curled on a chair, blank, staring at the floor. He should have known better.

Wilbur sees red. Tubbo should've known better; Eret was like his older brother. He should've noticed- anyone should've noticed.

Without realising it, he's stood up, towering over the brown-haired boy, and he's yelling. "YOU SHOULD'VE NOTICED! ANY OF YOU, YOU SHOULD'VE NOTICED! MAYBE THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AMBUSHED! EVER THINK ABOUT _NOT_ BEING BETRAYED?"

Tubbo's shaking under him, tears spilling out of his eyes. He looks pathetic; Wilbur's about to continue before he's pushed down into his seat by Tommy, who looks annoyed, and concerned. "WILBUR!"

"Don't push me around!"

"Don't talk to Tubbo like that!"

"I'm your superior, Tommy!" snaps Wilbur, glaring at the boy, who glowers back. 

"I'm your brother! _Stay down!"_ Tommy snaps back. "What's gotten into you?"

Fundy's wrapped his arms around Tubbo, who's shaking, sobbing quietly. Tommy's shaking too, only with rage. "What's wrong with you?"

Wilbur stops, stutters. His head hurts. He looks at the boy, shaking in the arms of the half-fox, and thinks about it. "I-." What's wrong with him? "I'm sorry. I lost control of my emotions."

Tommy stares at him, face red and contorted in anger. "Go cool off," he says waspishly, before turning and dropping to his knees in front of the two on the floor. Wilbur can hear them whispering, and feels a rush of anger at the fact that they might be whispering about _him_ ; but he turns and leaves anyways. His head is spinning. He feels conflicted; like he's two entirely different people. One side of him wants to go back and scream for another hour, and make them all cry, and laugh when they do. The other side's horrified at the thought, and forces him outside, and makes him walk to the lake and sit down.

There's something wrong with him. He's never been this volatile; he's barely screamed in his entire life, and here he is, yelling at the child he sees as another brother. His head hurts. He's so, so angry.

He's fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay! so.  
> 1\. for some reason my fics don't show up in recently updated? so if you want to know when a new chapter's out you might wanna subscribe. i don't think it'll be too long.  
> 2\. so ! stroke. i have never had a stroke, but this is honestly based off of my experience with someone who HAS. so if there's any wild inaccuracies please feel free to tell me :)  
> 3\. hh please leave kudos or comments it makes me very happy :) also if you have any criticism, please go ahead and tell me  
> stay safe yall!!


	4. wilbur (iv)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A duel happens. Everyone's still friends, in the end. I think.

They win the war.

There’s sacrifices, of course; Tommy’s stuck in bed for the foreseeable future with a non-fatal injury Fundy’s working on, and the boy’s given up his prized discs. It’s fine; wounds would heal, but a lack of power would eventually lead to much worse. Wilbur’s glad Tommy took the initiative. His boy was growing up.

~~~  
  


”Do I shoot him, Wil, or do I aim for the skies?” Tommy says, shaking as his fists close around Fundy’s bow.

Wilbur grasps the boy by the shoulders gently, pulling him to eye level. He’s grown so much over the years; he’d grown into his features, become a fearsome soldier, and he’d grown so mature, even if he didn’t show it. This was his boy; and he was about to get shot by one of the strongest men alive.

“I want you to do whatever your heart says,” Wilbur says. “Just- meet him face to face.”

Fundy and Tubbo watch from a distance as Wilbur pulls Tommy into a hug, the boy’s shoulders trembling. There’s an undeniable sense of doom and misery- everyone knows how this will end.

It ends exactly how they think it will.

Tommy slips into the water, nocking another arrow and readying his shot as he falls. Dream narrowly misses his head. Tommy misses Dream. Dream hits his abdomen.

All at once, Tommy’s flailing stops and he starts sinking, red bleeding into the water around him. The world goes silent, almost deafening; there’s a loud ringing in Wilbur’s ears as he watches their uniform slowly submerge into the water. They’ve lost.

They’ve lost.

The ringing phases out quickly, and Wilbur realises people are screaming. One is Tubbo, who’s curled protectively around a soaked figure, also dripping with water. The other is him, screaming at Dream. He’s lost his temper again.

Fundy scrambles to Tommy, dropping to his knees in front of the two soldiers. Dream makes for them, looking concerned, but he’s blocked by Wilbur.

_”What the fuck is wrong with you, man! We just wanted freedom! Why would you agree to something so unfair?”_

Dream looks perplexed. “The kid’s dying.”

”This isn’t fucking fair!”

”Fundy!” Dream calls. The fox hybrid looks up, snapped shafts of the arrow in his hands, which are covered in blood. “Healing.” The man throws a glass bottle towards them, and Fundy catches it with shaking hands, dropping the shaft. He nods at the man. 

”Can you deal with Wilbur?” the younger man asks. Dream nods affirmative, and- 

“Are you consorting with the enemy, Fundy? Are you a fucking traitor? You’re a shit son as well-“

Tubbo lets out a sob, hands fluttering over Tommy’s stomach, and finally looks up, glaring. Wilbur wants to strangle him. They’ve just lost their independence.

”What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tubbo screams. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?”

Fundy’s face has contorted with a mixture of fury and misery, and he tips the vial into Tommy’s mouth, body facing away from Wilbur. Tubbo’s standing up; the second youngest boy storms over to where Wilbur is rooted, a dark expression on his face. Wilbur can see Dream gaping next to him.

”You selfish bastard!” the brunet snaps, jabbing a finger into Wilbur’s chest. “All you do these days is shout and complain! You don’t give a single fuck about _any_ of us anymore! Not even your fucking bother! All you talk about is power and revolution.” His eyes are shining. “He could have died right now, you egomaniac!”

Wilbur snaps towards him, fist ready to punch, and he’s caught by Dream, who grabs him around the waist and holds him back. Tubbo pulls out a crossbow.

”Don’t come near him right now.” He says. “There’s something wrong with you. I think everyone can tell.”

”There is nothing wrong with me-“

”Enough!” Dream snaps. He grabs Wilbur’s arm. “You’re coming with me.”

The silence returns to deafening as he’s dragged over to the community house; none of the revolutionaries say a word, and the Dream Team watch in confusion as their leader drags their enemy into their base. The only difference with this silence is that everyone can hear it.

Wilbur is pushed roughly into a chair, and he watches blankly as Dream starts rummaging through chests angrily, shoving a bottle of water into his hands. He drinks it. How had he gotten here?

"What happened?"

Dream turns to him and rips his mask off his face, which is contorted in confusion. "There's something really wrong with you, huh," he says, grabbing a scrap of paper and his communicator, before collapsing into a chair in front of him and starting to type. "Tommy and I dueled. I won. He almost died and I saved him. There's something wrong with you."

"What do you mean?" Wilbur says. "What's wrong with me?"

"You aren't thinking straight," the blonde says. "You remember the stroke you had?"

It seems so inconsequential, now. "Yeah, like seven months ago, right?" He flexes his hand. It's still hard to move sometimes.

"It was last month," the younger man says. "This is what I'm talking about." He presses a button, and holds up a hand to silence Wilbur. There's the long sound of a call, and then-

"Dream," says a deep voice.

"Technoblade. You've been whitelisted."

"Took you long enough," Techno says dryly. "Tommy called me yesterday. Crying and shit. Has Wilbur really gone mad?"

"Wilbur's right here," Wilbur says, indignant. "I haven't gone mad."

"Tommy said you keep screaming at the smallest things."

"I- I don't think so."

"He was _crying_ , Wilbur. I trust him. You've always fought with your words rather than your fists."

"How long will it take you to get here?" Dream says.

"I'm in the middle of a war. But I can arrange a truce. Or just win," the man says. "But it could take a month."

"Philza?"

"Currently off the grid," Techno says. "His communicator should be back up in a week, and it'll take him a few more to get there."

"I'll be dropping off soon too," Dream says. "Tommy will go along with anything Wilbur says."

"Fuck," Techno says. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Plenty," the tanned man replies. "Let's hope for the best."

Wilbur drops his head into his hands once Dream's hung up, headache starting to form. "It can't be that bad, right?"

"I have recordings from when I was stalking you guys," the other says, tapping his communicator again. Wilbur furrows his brow.

"Rude," he says, listening as the recording starts with a crackle. Dream stands up and starts rummaging through bookshelves.

"-sleeping in the wrong bed!"

"It's a fucking bed, calm down, Wilbur!"

"-wouldn't be surprised if all of you were fucking traitors!"

"-don't you care that your siblings is getting nightmares?"

"I really don't-"

"What the fuck am I listening to, Sap?"

"No clue."

"-just _leave_!"

Wilbur stops the recording, feeling sick. That's him, being cruel to his teammates for something as small as sleeping in the _wrong bed_ ; and the worst thing is that he barely remembers it.

Dream drops a stack of ancient books in front of him, and pulls out another healing vial and shoves it into Wilbur's hand. "Try this," he says. "I have no clue if it'll help."

He drinks it. It burns going down, but he feels the same. Dream continues. "Strokes are supposed to have mental side effects. We have no idea what those are; but we can assume that it's something to do with how you're acting. That or you've really done nuts." He opens a book, and thumbs through it. "It doesn't say how to fix it. We need to find a way."

"Oh." Wilbur says. "Am I hurting people?"

"Yes," Dream says. He stops looking through the book, and meets Wilbur's eyes. "I healed Tommy for a reason. I'm not here to murder children. But, honestly, I think he's going to suffer more when you're acting like this."

"Oh," Wilbur repeats again. "I'm sorry."

"I don't think it's in your hands," the younger replies. "Tommy's never going to leave your side anyways. Let's just hope you don't get too bad."

Like Techno said; what's the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I'm not good with long fics alksjdklsa  
> It's moving preettty fast because..,, I have to finish this. I am SO bad with long fics. Check out my cute angsty hurt/comfort ones instead.  
> Kudos, comments and bookmarks are always appreciated. Stay safe everybody <3


	5. tommy (i)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy doesn't really like Pogtopia.

Pogtopia is the opposite of every home they’ve had.

The ravine is dank and drafty; they’ve hung lanterns from chains and dried out what they could, but there’s still odd wet patches on the floor and walls and the cold winter air keeps blowing through openings. Water drips from overhangs and spreads redstone like it’s blood, staining the stone walls. They’ve added their own little things; there’s the huge potato farm Techno’s built, Tubbo’s built a maze of tunnels connecting Pogtopia to Mannerg, and L’Dog wanders around pretty often. Tommy hates it.

Everywhere they’d lived had always had it’s charm: Home was, well, their home, and it was bright and sunny in the days and cold and snowy in the nights, and it was surrounded with layers of Phil’s familiar magic. The Antarctic Empire, despite always being shrouded in fog and layers of snow, had been home to warm cups of cocoa and the feeling of being wrapped in red capes. L’manberg had been the feeling of a second family, companionship and singing around a fire.

They were all gone, now. SMPEarth was gone, and they wouldn’t be able to return to home any time soon.

Family was with people. Tommy misses Phil and Wilbur.

Wilbur is right here, to be fair. There's just something really wrong with him.

His older brother hasn't noticed anything's wrong with him; or at least, if he has, he's forgotten. His usually perfect demeanor has sunken; the man wanders around with dark, matted hair and a patchy overcoat, and he seems to lose his temper at the most random of times. Tommy's gotten decent at stopping the screaming before it starts, absently switching topics to Phil and their old adventures. It works sometimes. Mostly, it doesn't.

Techno'd arrived a few weeks back, around the time of the election, dropping into spawn through one of his portals. Tommy had ridden there on Fundy's skeletal horse, and they'd raced back, being hunted by people in most directions. They'd escaped into the unnamed ravine almost scot-free, but it didn't stop Tommy from curling into Techno's arms the moment they were safe and sobbing his heart out. Wilbur hadn't said anything.

The hybrid had taken up the mantle of their main source of food and powerhouse, making several farms of all kinds of vegetables and animals. His free time he spent poring over old textbooks and reading ancient scripts he'd find in churches, translating them to Phil over his comm. Tommy'd join him pretty often. He wasn't usually one to initiate touch, but these days he'd find himself nestled against Techno, hair pressed against the elder's chin. They both needed the comfort.

Phil was stuck in his hardcore world for a while longer; he'd been having several technical difficulties with the code, and he was in danger of being killed permanently if he tried to leave early. He'd sounded worried about the three of them, and his kids had hurriedly assured him that they could handle it themselves.

They have no clue how to handle it, but it's fine.

They're sparring today. Wilbur's decided to sit it out, and he's perched on a rock, dark hair tamed for once and freshly cleaned. He's watching Tommy and Techno spar, iron swords in both their hands. He's rubbing his arm and cracking jokes like he usually does. Techno is grinning, and Tommy can feel the beam that spread across his face a while ago. It feels like old times.

"Duck!" Techno calls, and strikes. Tommy refrains from ducking and parries, blond hair curling into his hair. "You need to get a haircut."

"No," Tommy says. "My hair looks fine."

"You won't be able to tell, it's blocking your eyes." Techno jabs at his side. "To your right."

"Shut up, Tech," Tommy says, snapping towards the older man unexpectedly. Techno dodges the sword.

"Never," he grunts, finally disarming the younger boy and managing to get his sword to the other's throat. Wilbur claps, startling them both.

"Don't kill him!" he says grinning at them. Techno flinches fully, and Tommy uses the opportunity to grab the sword and throw it to the side. Then he realises what Wilbur's said, and he grabs Techno's hand, both of them staring at Wilbur expectantly, on the floor that's strangely wet. It just sounds like something Wilbur’d said, long ago, before they’d joined the Dream SMP.

"What?" Wilbur says. "Did something happen?"

"N-No," Techno says. "I- the potatoes need to be watered. Be back."

The pink-haired man pulls himself to his feet and clambers to the lowest point of the ravine, entering the tunnel that leads to their main farm. Tommy stays where he is. Tears gather in his eyes. 

He's cried more these few months than he has all his life.

"Tommy?" a gentle voice prods. "What's wrong?"

Wilbur's crouched in front of him, arms open. It's so familiar. A sob erupts from Tommy's throat, and he scrambles into the brunet's arms like he's done all his life.

The older man pulls him close to his chest, and Tommy cries like he hasn't in years, fisting his hands into the black shirt. He can feel Wilbur drop back so he's sitting cradling him, and he feels himself being rocked like Wilbur did when he was upset. It's all Wilbur.

"I-I miss you," Tommy chokes out. "You left, and I'm- I'm so scared." He's shaking, pushing his head into the man's chest. "I want you b-back."

"I'm right here," Wilbur murmurs, pressing kisses into dirty blond hair. "I never left."

"Y-You did," Tommy says. "I'm so tired of this."

"Of what?" the man says, repositioning Tommy so he isn't half laying down and is instead fully propped against the lanky body. "Did I scare you?"

"No!" Tommy snaps tearfully. "I hate being here. I want to be h-home, with you and Phil and Techno and Tubbo."

"We all do," Wilbur says, running his hands through his hair. "I love you so much, okay? Don't forget that."

Tommy's sobs echo around the barren ravine, and they fall asleep there, Tommy tucked into the man's jacket and wrapped in warm arms.

He wakes up alone, on the ground. When Wilbur loses his temper the next day, he excuses himself and screams into the forest. Techno finds him crying against a tree, and sits down and pulls him against him, pink hair falling into both their eyes and shoulders shaking. Tommy knows that he's crying too.

~~~

The first time Wilbur hurts him is unintentional; at least, Tommy thinks it is.

The two of them and Tubbo are in Pogtopia; Wilbur's been a relatively good mood, so the two of them have been fooling around; Tommy places blocks of diamond and redstone wherever he can, and the two of them giggle and frantically shush each other as JSchlatt and Quackity flirt on the general channel, and Wilbur laughs, muted, at their shenanigans as well; they might be enemies in this world, but they'd been friends in most others.

Wilbur's mood sours when Tubbo excuses himself into another room to talk privately with the president, making excuses for leaving. Tommy starts taking down the diamond blocks, not wanting to make him more irate. Then he hears Wilbur cackle with laughter when Tubbo says, "I told him I was pregnant," so he relaxes and continues with the redstone.

The ravine is filled with a companionable silence, which is rare these days; they can hear Techno wrestling with his horse on the surface, and the sounds of Tubbo and Wilbur talking. Tommy digs into a wall, labels the tunnel, "Tommy's Room," and starts placing redstone, pistons and observers. It's a terrible bit, but Tommy's enjoying it.

Then he gets trapped between two pistons. It's uncomfortable, but he's kind of fine with it, so he calls for Wilbur and Tubbo and relaxes his body so he doesn't accidentally hurt himself.

Wilbur's face peers down at him, upside down. "Hi, Tommy."

"Hi. Wilbur. Please get me out."

Wilbur laughs, and pushes Tubbo away from the hole gently. "Leave him there for a bit."

Tommy sighs, blowing hair out of his face. He wriggles a bit, trying to release himself. He can't. "Wilbur, you know I don't like small spaces," he calls.

"That's Techno," comes the reply.

"Actually-" he hears Tubbo say.

"I think I know more about my own brother than you do, Toby." Wilbur says, sounding farther away. "TOMMY!"

Tommy bites back the instinct to jump, continuing to listen. "I _fucking_ told you not to put diamond blocks anywhere! How hard is it for you to just listen?"

Oh.

"Tubbo, don't let him out," Wilbur says. Tommy blinks, and there's darkness.

"Wilbur. WILBUR!" Tommy snaps. "This isn't funny, you _know_ I have severe claustrophobia."

"That's literally Techno's thing, Tommy, get your own," the man says. His voice is muffled. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Wilbur? Tubbo?"

No answer.

"FUCK!" Tommy screams, tears starting to gather in his eyes again. He doesn't know why Wilbur's the reason he always cries, but he hates it. He never used to be.

He's stuck. His arms aren't in a position to hit a block, let alone take out a pickaxe and make a hole in the wall. He slams a hand into the cobble anyway.

Again. Again. Again. His hand is getting sticky. His lungs feel like they're full of the smell of blood. He twists again, trying to dislodge the piston or _anything_ , and feels his foot catch against a mechanism and _twist_.

He sobs again, squeezing his eyes shut and dropping his bloody hand on the floor in front of him. It's covered in a thick, sticky crimson.

His eyes are still shut when he hears blocks break around him, and feels large hands gently grab him by the shoulders and under the knees. Tommy thinks it's Wilbur, then Phil, and realises it's Techno when the man's pink hair comes into view when he opens his eyes. Techno isn't usually this gentle with him. Tubbo is standing behind him, looking angry and terrified. His hand is covered in blood. His ankle hurts.

He's laid in a bed, Tubbo intertwining his fingers with Tommy's undamaged ones as Techno rummages around for potions and medical equipment.

It hurts. He's scared. Not of Wilbur, or of the space he'd been trapped in, but how this would affect everyone. Wilbur hasn't hurt anyone yet. Intentionally or not.

He falls asleep, and wakes up hours after to Toby screaming at Wilbur, red in the face, while the older man just looks confused and Techno stands between them. 

"Tubbo!" he calls. It goes quiet, and Tubbo makes his way over to the bed. Techno's still standing in front of Wilbur, but the brunet is taller. He looks at Tommy, and their eyes meet, and Tommy looks away.

"Don't fight him," Tommy says to Tubbo in low tones. "Just- stay away from him. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Tommy I can't just let him-" Tubbo hisses back, gesturing at him. "I'm supposed to protect you."

"When did that happen?" Tommy smiles at him. 

"You're younger than me!"

"That doesn't matter, Toby, what matters is that we have each other's backs," he says. "And I don't want you hurt."

"Stay away from him too, then."

Tommy stops. "H-He's my brother, though." He looks over at Wilbur. The man looks concerned. "I can't just leave him."

"Promise me, then," Tubbo says, clasping his uninjured hand. "You'll protect yourself if worst comes to worst, or I'll protect you instead."

"I promise," Tommy says. He takes his promises seriously. He'd regret it if he'd made it to anyone but Tubbo. "Call him in."

Techno seems to be listening to their quiet conversation, because he steps aside and lets the taller man in. Wilbur stiffly walks to the foot of the bed and looks at him. Tommy stares back, eyes watering.

"Did I do that?" he asks. Tommy nods, waiting. "I'm sorry," he says in reply. "I'm a terrible brother."

_It wasn't your fault._

Tommy doesn't say anything as Wilbur strides out of the room; just pulls the blankets over his head and stares at the ceiling. It's stone. Techno and Tubbo take seats in the room.

It isn't going to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading! It's a Tommy POV chapter >:)  
> ajhasjkldhajh i have been feeling TERRIBLE lately someone please help.... the only thing that will help is clout  
> i am joking . i do not need clout (give me clout)  
> ANywAY. Kudos, comments and bookmarks are appreciated! Subscribe if you want to be notified of updates. Subscribe to Technoblade.


	6. techno (i)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno isn't the best at emotions. Even he can tell when something is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO sorry this took like over two weeks to post. life has been ASS lately, and i have been dealing by with it by writing copious amounts of one-shots. the name of this fanfiction has changed, and hopefully i'll have it finished very soon :)

Techno isn't good with emotions. 

He's probably always been the most emotionally stunted of their ragtag family; Phil'd taken him in when he was almost six, being held captive by traders because he was a hybrid. Five was young, but it didn't stop him from being scarred by his experiences. He took the longest to open up to Phil, as Phil'd told him once.

He was also terrible at reading emotions. He'd make Tommy cry by being too mean some days, and he wouldn't be able to tell when Wilbur was trying to brood so he could write music; and would inevitably end up making the older boy laugh. He’d confuse Phil’s happy tears for sad ones when he was a teenager, and he’d try his best to comfort the oldest man before realising. He wasn’t good with emotions, and  _ everyone _ knew that. The sun was hot, the sky was blue, he was emotionally stunted, Tommy was a teenager still trying to figure himself out, and Wilbur and Phil were the only people who knew how to communicate. Facts of life.

Which is why Techno knows something is seriously wrong when he sees that Tommy’s upset before Wilbur does; even more so when he realises that Wilbur's the one making him upset.

Techno hadn't been overly concerned when he'd first made his way over from Hypixel to the SMP; Tommy's call had worried him, of course, but he and Wilbur fought constantly. Wilbur was bound to make Tommy cry occasionally, although he could usually tell when he'd gone too far. So, when Dream called him, he joined the SMP. He'd thought the worst part would be having to stay there.

The worst part was not, in fact, staying there.

Ever since the incident with the piston, Techno's made sure Tommy's stayed by his side, and the boy hasn't argued. He's been more withdrawn, and he shies away from Wilbur, whether he notices it or not.

Wilbur notices.

"Why's Tommy avoiding me, Tech?" the brown haired man prompts him one day, sitting on the walls dividing the potato farms. Techno's ankle deep in dirt, pulling out the vegetables like he'd been doing for almost a year before joining Dream's SMP. It's familiar and vaguely comforting.

"No clue," he grunts. He's been keeping his answers short and unclear these days; it hurts every time Wilbur asks about things he should already know, or snaps at the smallest things Techno brings up. It's easier just to sit in an awkward silence.

Wilbur's asked Techno why Tommy was ignoring him eleven times this week. Techno can't wait for Phil to arrive. Phil made everything better.

"I mean, there must be something," Wilbur says. "I keep hearing everybody talk about how I'm going insane, and apparently I keep forgetting things, and I'm hurt." He looks down at his hands. He's wearing his fingerless gloves. "I feel fine, though."

Techno straightens up, picking up his basket and hoe, before making his way to the entrance. "We had this conversation yesterday," he says tightly. 

And the day before that. And the day before that.

He leaves the farm and Wilbur behind. The ravine is slightly damp, as it usually is, and the lanterns flicker, dimly lighting the walls of the natural structure. It’s unnaturally quiet. The silence falls flat on Techno’s ears; with his inhumane hearing, he can usually hear the quiet shuffling of feet on stone, or just signs of anybody’s presence. If he strains his ears, he can hear the faint hum of redstone wires coming from the direction of the farms, and the rustling of Wilbur’s coat.

“Tommy!” Techno calls. His voice echoes across the gray mineral. There’s no response. “Wilbur, have you seen Tommy?”

There’s a short pause. “No!” Wilbur’s voice replies. “I haven’t.”

The sound of boots making their way towards him is unnaturally loud compared to the deafening silence of the ravine. Wilbur’s figure steps out of the farm. “Why, is he gone?”

Techno shrugs, dropping his hoe to the ground and placing his basket on a chest. “I guess,” he says, trying not to show his worry. “I’m heading out for a bit.”

“I can help you look for him,” Wilbur says earnestly. “He’s my brother too.”

“No!” Techno almost snaps. “You- you stay here, just in case he comes here.”

Wilbur’s eyebrow furrows, and he gets that kicked-puppy look that Techno’s grown familiar with in the past month. It still makes him feel guilty, which is fair; he, alongside a select few in the server, knew that Wilbur wasn’t in his right senses. Yet here he was.

Wilbur nods quietly and stays where he is. Techno can feel his gaze boring into pink hair as he makes his way up the crude staircase, removing his crown from where he’d hung it on his belt and settling it against his head.

Exiting the little room up top is like a breath of fresh air, both literally and figuratively; Techno hadn’t realised just how stuffy and suffocating the ravine had been before leaving it. The deafening silence has been filled with the sounds of birds chirping and trees rustling, and Techno basks in the cool wind for a minute before moving.

He stops by his base first; a little area with a bed and several chests that he mostly used to store his valuables. He pulls out a sword and some netherite armour.

Never know what’s around the corner, these days. Dream had gone dark around the time he’d arrived, but George and Quackity would roam around the areas surrounding them occasionally, holding massive, unbalanced axes that clashed with their perfectly ironed suits.

He grabs his gown from the bed, throwing it over his shoulders before pushing open the door and loping towards the place he hoped Tommy would be.

Techno walks for a good few minutes, grass crunching under his books and wind in his hair; the path to the field is outgrown and wild, and if he looks carefully he can see a faint worn path where Tommy and Tubbo would walk through on the daily before Wilbur forbade them meeting. It didn’t stop his youngest sibling from doing so, though; if Tommy wasn’t here he’d probably be at the bench with his childhood friend.

He’s interrupted by his observation, though, by the faint sound of leaves crackling like they were being stepped on. It could be a mob, sure, but Techno grips the hilt of his netherite sword nonetheless. He’s glad he did when he hears the crunching getting closer; it isn’t the light prance of prey or the stealthy movements of a predator, but the heavy footsteps of a human, dragging something with them.

He moves, quietly, towards the source. The sound of heavy breathing and quiet sobbing reaches his ears. There’s two pitches; one is higher, and definitely feminine. The other is Tommy.

“Tommy?” Techno gives up on stealth, making his way into the forest without a care for the wildlife he’s trampling. The breathing gets heavier, and the female voice gets more panicked. “Tommy!”

“He’s here!” an accented voice calls. “He’s here.”

Techno jogs towards the voice- he assumes it’s Niki by the lilt in her words- and stops when he catches sight of her. She’s kneeling on the forest floor, surrounded by flowers and hands stained with red. Tommy’s curled into himself in front of her, blonde hair coated in dirt, skin covered in bruises, blood and scrapes. He’s crying quietly. Niki whips towards Techno when he enters the clearing; her face is coated in tears as well. 

“Techno- I found him like this,” Niki whispers. “I don’t know what happened- I was looking for Tubbo and-” she wipes her face, leaving red streaks across it. “I don’t know where Tubbo is and Tommy’s hurt-”

Techno stares at her for a moment, shocked, before he drops to his knees as well, abandoning his sword and crossbow to the side. He reaches for Tommy, letting Niki sit back and tremble for a minute. She’s only a few years older than his kid. None of them should have to deal with this.

Tommy lurches back at his touch, or at least attempts to; he flinches violently when he hears Techno’s voice, which is so unexpected and abnormal that Techno falls back in shock. “Tommy,” Techno whispers. “Tommy, it’s me, Techno, you’re okay.”

“D-don’t touch me,” Tommy rasps, settling his palms against the ground and pushing up. “Don’t- don’t fucking touch me.”

“I won’t, I swear,” Techno mutters, backing away. Niki does the same, overalls stained with dirt and blood. “Tommy, what happened?”

Tommy stares at him for a second, finally managing to sit up, tears still leaking down his face like a tap gone rogue. “Techno-” 

Tommy stops. Techno reaches for him, slightly; Tommy doesn’t stop him, instead wrapping his arms around himself, shaking visibly. “Techno, I- I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Tommy’s sobs die down, slowly, and he buries his face into Techno’s shirt as Techno’s hands flutter around him, checking his injuries. Niki has shuffled closer, too, and Techno reaches over Tommy to give the shaken woman a squeeze on the shoulder.

“I was- I was with Tubbo,” Tommy finally says, voice muffled. “I was with Tubbo, and- I told him to run.”

“From who, Tommy?” Techno says. He’s going to kill Schlatt, or Quackity, or whoever the hell-

“Wilbur,” Tommy mumbles into his gown. “He- he had one of his episodes again. It was the worst.” His voice is trembling. He’s trembling. His little brother is shaking like a leaf.

Techno sees red, sitting on the floor of this forest with his baby brother sobbing in his arms. Niki makes a soft noise behind them, and Techno can hear her standing up and wiping her tears. “Tommy,” she says gently. “Do you know where Tubbo went?”

Tommy’s breath hitches as he gets his breathing under control. “L’manberg,” he croaks. Niki has to lean in to hear him. “Wilbur ran after him. Left me alone.”

He can feel the miserable accusations held in the sentence, and pulls Tommy closer; the boy hasn’t stopped shaking, and his hands are still curled into Techno’s clothes. “He left you here,” Techno says, rage bubbling over. Tommy closes his eyes.

“Technoblade- can you take care of him yourself?” Niki asks breathlessly, brushing herself off. “I need to go make sure Tubbo’s alright.”

Techno nods, pulling off his cape and draping it over Tommy before undoing the clasps of his armor. “Take this,” he says to Niki. “You’ll need it more than me.” 

Niki takes it with shaking hands, face set angrily in stone, and slips it over her bloodstained clothes. “I’ll message you if I need any help,” she says, and Techno nods, watching her storm back into the forest towards where L’manberg would be.

Tommy watches them with glazed, hurt eyes, and Techno hoists him up gently so he can prod the teenager for wounds in his front. He’s covered in angry purpling bruises under his shirt, and his arm has a massive cut down the side. It doesn’t seem too deep, though, and Niki’s tied some cloth above it.

While Tommy doesn’t seem too bad off physically, he’s barely spoken a word, and his eyes are completely filled with tears, cheeks covered with dried tearstains and smears of blood. Techno’s about to prompt him, gently, when he opens his mouth.

“What did I do, Techno?” his little brother asks him. “What did I get wrong? How did we get  _ here _ ?” His voice rises in pitch as he gets more upset, as it always has. It’s reminiscent of how he’d whine when Wilbur teased him too much, snatching toys from his hands when he was too small to get them back. It reminds him of how Tommy’d giggle over their communicators in SMPEarth, groaning when Phil and Techno defeated him again after a failed assassination attempt. Those were good times. This isn’t.

“You didn’t do nothing,” Techno says, at a loss for words. Tommy buries himself into his chest again, and Techno holds him, stunned. He pulls out his communicator. 

Technoblade: phil please how soon can you come somethings really wrong

Technoblade: wilbur’s gone insane i have a really bad feeling please hurry

Philza: coming right now

Techno stands up, slowly, bringing Tommy with him and grabbing his sword and crossbow. 

He’s going to patch Tommy up. Then he’s going to L’manberg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! kudos, comments and bookmarks are appreciated. join my discord if you'd like, it's very pleasant (just copy paste the link into a web browser):  
> https://discord.gg/w9CwSK26mm  
> stay safe!! <3


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